Three strange days 

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The name for this post was indeed chosen with a head-nod to the minor alterna-hit song of the same name (that made the radio playlists for about 17 minutes in 1991) by one of the pre-grunge alternative rock bands School of Fish.  Here’s a link to the video for anyone interested. 😉

Wasn’t that cool Small Talk?  And it totally leads into my Topic For Today.

Because it has indeed been “three strange days.  And I’m kinda glad the sun is setting on this third one.  If stuff happens in threes, then please god(dess), let this be the end.

It might not have been Three Strange Days if not for a Few Strange People.

I won’t go into very many details here.  I’m not trying to play coy; that’s not my nature.  It’s more of a desire to express my thoughts without inviting further drama.  Because drama isn’t my thing, either.  And I didn’t start any of this.

As some of y’all know, I manage multiple blogs, some under different WordPress names.  All of them get much more traffic than this one (and I’m perfectly fine with the fact that this one is pretty tame; it means that I get to use this one as sort of a scratch pad for my miscellaneous thoughts and theories and only those of you who follow this blog and dig the miscellaneous – and you’re awesome, by the way! – will see it).

On a couple other blogs, I’ve received some …interesting… comments.  Two chastised me for allegedly taking a stance I never took (and in fact, expressly stated everywhere I could afford to without sounding like a broken record that I wasn’t taking), and another hinted at the idea that I was honing in on their intellectual turf, right after I wrote a post definitively and staunchly stating for the record that I would never do that.  (Which is totally true.  Why steal someone else’s work?)

Wait–what?

Was there a Full Moon or something?

Oh wait–yeah, there actually was.

These Strange People were all over the cognitive road, too.  The comments seemed slippery and difficult to follow.  Now that I’ve had a chance to process what might have been happening (and at that, I can only guess), the accusational one almost bordered on manipulative.  I was unfamiliar with their work, so there’s no way I could have siphoned it.  I finally did go on an archeological dig this afternoon, to attempt to get an idea of what they were referring to, so I am now indeed more familiar with their work, and I still couldn’t find anything of ours that resembles each other.  I even had to look up some of the terms they used.

The stranger-yet part was that one of them wanted me to commit to not creating drama when they unveiled a project they have been working on, should there be any resemblance.

On its face (and I always take everything on its face first, unless I’m shown otherwise, which, if I am, usually bites me in the ass, despite pure intentions), it appeared innocent enough.

But despite the acquaintanceship these people and I share (and have for a while now), I don’t know them all that well, and this afternoon’s foray into their world revealed some (recent) hostility toward views that I (and many others) have expressed in a growing movement, chorus of voices, and circle of friends.

What I’m about to say next might sound very trite, petty, and dim, but I promise: that’s not where I’m going, nor is it the spirit in which I mean what I’m going to say.  (Just approach it like I do: with a neutral, semi-bewildered vibe, that carries no judgment, malice, or accusation.)

There was almost a ring of…I don’t know–jealousy?  Defensiveness?  An inferiority complex?  I struggle to pinpoint exactly what I’m sensing, but there’s definitely something along those lines.

Maybe I’m simply imagining things.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  

But the interesting part is that that possibility didn’t come from me; it was suggested in private by another commenter who saw the exchanges.

For the record, believe me, I don’t see anything I write as being hugely profound or special.  But blog traffic and publishers interested in what I’ve written give evidence to the contrary, even if I still can’t see it.  The reassuring choruses of empathy remind me that I’m not alone.  They comfort me like weighted blankets and snuggle up to me.  They also remind me that I’m not so unique.  In a world where the more unique you are the more dangerous it can be, it’s good to know that I’m not such an outlier.

But I also don’t consider myself (or anyone else) a “clone”, either, as described by one of the more hostile pieces alluded to earlier.

*Sigh.*

My partner, who worked in law enforcement for a long time until a long time ago, a career which made him fairly cynical (but in a very plausible way), had a different theory.  He supposed that this person might actually be planning to lift some of my work and claim it as their own, and wanted to rope me into a “contract” of sorts, to show that I agreed in advance to anything they might release that might resemble mine.

I have no way of knowing what’s truth and what’s a mirage.

*Sigh* again.

I don’t know if one or more of my writings hit social media suddenly, or what.  I just know that attention isn’t always good attention.  I was never looking for attention anyway–at least, not consciously.  My goal was to help; nothing more, nothing less.

I’m not nearly as “down” as this may sound.  What I feel is more like blown away, confused.  I do have to remind myself that criticism and zagnuts (like those I described in the beginning, who responded to me as though I had taken a particular angle that in fact I hadn’t) are part of the package sometimes, and I have to roll with it–and let it roll off.  I also have to remember the wise words of a wise friend after evaluating firsthand the situation of which I speak: “the drama is certainly on their end, not yours.”

Good one, Wise One (and nope, that’s not sarcasm).

And who knows what kind of role the Full Moon (which occurred on Day 1 of my Three Strange Days) might have played?  I can’t discount that, either.  That’s a topic for another post, but for now, suffice it to say that it’s a Thing.

I can tell you that the whole set (of relatively unrelated events) really threw me off.  This means that I have a little more work to do within.  A little tougher of a shell to build, a little more oil to lather on its surface to encourage that roll-off effect.

My Wise Friend also said that my response was too nice.  They meant this in the gentlest of ways, of course.  Not as a criticism, but as a supportive gesture.  Regardless, their point is very well-taken.

And there’s no time like the present to hit a reset button with vigor and issue a few self-reminders…

From here, it’s all about proactivity.  Thickening my skin.  Oiling my surface.  Taking things with grains–or even full shakers–of salt.  Standing my ground.  Waiting before hitting “reply” buttons.  Reserving the right not to agree too fast.  Getting myself published, eliminating guesswork.  Chinning up.  Spreading my own wings.

Time to fly. 🙂

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13 thoughts on “Three strange days 

  1. An unfortunate part of the writing territory.😒 I have mostly been blessed in that regard, but, I can remember a person or two in earlier blogs that left me with that strange feeling. Indeed, stand your ground, friend, and spread those wings! Right here cheering you on! 💓💓💓

    1. Thank you so much, my lovely sister! 😘😘😘. Ah, so you know the feeling of which I speak! I’m so sorry that that happened to you, Dear One 🌺🌷🌺. I wish you could read this and say, “what’s she talking about?” Because then you wouldn’t have had to go through that kind of weirdness 💚💙

      I would like to think that people (especially our own) have the best of intentions and are genuine and whatnot, but I guess we have our nuts, too 💟💟. It’s always a tough lesson to learn for me. I always get utopic about a lot of things lol 😊😊💖. Thank you so much for the cheers! 😁🌎🌈✨. I’m cheering you on right back, always! 😘😘👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼☄🍀💌😍🙌🏼🙌🏼💓💓💞

      1. You’re welcome! And, thanks. It’s been a while ago now. I kind of just chalked it up to another in my long series of lessons about such things. lol. I have my utopian wishes, but, sad to say I have had so many messed up situations in my lifetime, I almost expect the worst first. There are nuts all over, unfortunately. I really hate that you have had to deal with some lately, but glad you are standing strong. 😀😘

      2. Thank you thank you! 😁😁. It’s actually starting to feel good, although sometimes it’s still scary 💓. I’ve got this weird fine line between too-nice and overbearing-steamroller lol. I’d always figured that if I erred on the side of too-nice, then I could sleep better at night. Turns out that that ain’t so, at least for me 💙💚. Practice makes progress, anyhow 😁❤️❤️👍🏼

      3. Ah, yes. I know how that feels. I have had that line much of my life. lol. I still strive especially hard for niceness in all interactions. Particularly because I know how unkindness feels, the last thing I want is to ever be unkind. But, inside, I am super guarded and poised for the other shoe to drop at all times with most people. I rarely ever believe their interest is without ulterior motive or that they could really feel warm feelings toward me for long, if at all. I really don’t recommend people tip the balance as much as I have. The trust issues and anxiety I deal with on a daily basis truly suck. But, I am learning slowly and carefully to reopen myself to the good possibilities. Getting remarried 5 years ago was an enormous step. Staying and living it out, learning to assert myself and yet to remain vulnerable to another human being is even bigger! 🙂Still very much a work in progress for sure! Practice is progress, though, as you say. Keep at it and so will I and eventually we’ll get there! 😀❤

      4. Omg girl, you nailed it!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

        “I still strive especially hard for niceness in all interactions. Particularly because I know how unkindness feels, the last thing I want is to ever be unkind. But, inside, I am super guarded and poised for the other shoe to drop at all times with most people. I rarely ever believe their interest is without ulterior motive or that they could really feel warm feelings toward me for long, if at all.”

        This could easily be an essay about my whole life! Complete with the present-day trust issues that you mention shortly afterward! We must be virtual twins or something 💜💜💜

        I’m so happy that getting remarried was such a positive thing in this regard (and probably other regards, too! 😉)

        I might write something on the risks that are all-too-common with forming bonds, because that requires opening ourselves up to an extent 💚💙. The art of assertion is a big one indeed, and it’s a tough one for some of us (whether on the spectrum or not, but I think it might be even tougher for some of us on the spectrum!) 😘😘.

        Yeah!! We’ll keep going. We’re still here, after all, surviving all we’ve already been through, which was quite a bit in itself, even if in different ways 😘💚💙. We will eventually prevail and maybe then we’ll feel more solid than we might currently feel 😁😁👍🏼👍🏼👏🏼🌷💟💐😎👊🏼

      5. Oh, how awesome it is to be understood!!! 💙💙💙 Thank you! 💓💓💓 I think that would be a great subject to write on. Most Aspies I have encountered really struggle in regard to assertion, my kiddos included. My hubby has taken longer for me to figure out. He is outgoing and assertive to an extreme. But, I think that in itself is his defense mechanism. The bolder and sillier he acts, the less people who don’t really know him see the fear underneath. And woo hoo! Makes things so much better knowing I have a soul sister going through similar things! 💙💙💙

      6. Oh yeah! 🙌🏼👊🏼💙. Same here, my lovely 😘😘❤️. That’s really interesting about your hubby! I think you’re onto something there, too. Defense mechanisms come in all flavors and colors, don’t they? 😊💚💙. Mine is different; he’s an introvert like me, but he worked in law enforcement and thus he can step in and take a very authoritative stand when needed. He often does all of my “dirty work” (like saying “no” to someone, or logging a rare complaint (like customer service)) for me for this reason lol 😉👍🏼💪🏼. If he’s uncomfortable with it, he doesn’t show much 💞. Yeah, it’s really cool to know we have people who understand us! And I have awesome peeps indeed 😁😘😘💟👊🏼💞💓

      7. Yep. Defense mechanisms are fascinating. Psychology is one of my interests. Love analyzing the “whys” behind human behavior.❤ That is a cool thing to have someone to do your “dirty work”. We are finding ways of helping each other in that way, too. ☺

      8. Omg yes!! Psychology rules 😁😁. The “why”s are so fascinating, aren’t they? ☄☄. FunFact: for several years, I wanted to major in Psychology, with focuses (foci?) in Abnormal Psychology and Forensics. My dream was to, eventually, go to work for the FBI’s Behavioral Science department 😎🌷🌷. The earliest clue I can think of is when I was about 12, and I had gotten very interested in handwriting analysis, especially in regards to mental illness. When I was 14, I saw “The Silence of the Lambs” for the first time, which instantly became one of my favorite movies. At 15, I read the book upon which the movie was based. At 16, my mom took me to a local university bookstore to hunt for the latest texts on Abnormal Psychology. Lol! 😁💞💞

        I do love how we share information, swap stories, compare notes, and help, care for, and support each other 😁💓💟💖🌷💞

  2. I saw the Thing. I was like WTF?💩 I think I know the “phrase” referred to and getting butthurt is a major stretch.🙊 You just keep being you my Dearest Dude! Your cheering squad will be here!! ( STILL waiting for those dang pom pom emojis)😘😘💌💌💌😍😍🎉🙌🍀🐉🌸🌺🌼💖🕊🌻🌴😎💪💃

    1. Oh whew!! 😁❤️❤️. Ok I thought it was just me overreacting and misunderstanding, but all y’all have been so reassuring! Everyone who has come forward to me agrees with us 😊👍🏼👍🏼. So it *wasn’t* just me after all! 💚💙. The “phrase” wasn’t even one of their own (if I have the right phrase)! I’m not even entirely sure which phrase it was, but if it was the one I’m thinking of… (Can I trouble you to text or email me so that I *don’t* inadvertently use the term(s) they were referring to, lest they or anyone else start to think I’m goading them? 💩💖💖. Yeah, the exchanges themselves did smack a little like being butthurt, didn’t they? (And to top it off, there were a couple other comments left for 2 other posts that I actually did not approve because they totally didn’t even read/comprehend/acknowledge the gist of the post and so I felt that all they would do is trigger the lovely community of peeps that interact in that space, so I left them in invisible limbo.) 💟💟. You and your support mean everything to me, Dearest Cosmic Sister 😘😘😘💌🌈🌟🌟🌺💖💜💙💚🌷😍🙌🏼🙌🏼🌴🌵🍀🌎🌎☄✨

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