Back in 2000, I voted for George W. Bush.
But wait, it gets better.
I also held the opinion that there were only two choices: Republican or Democrat. If you weren’t one, you were the other, and if you weren’t with us, you were against us. I felt thinly-veiled disdain toward those who “didn’t like either one.” I felt that viewpoint was an apathetic cop-out that provided a poor excuse for not Getting Involved.
You see, after eight years of Clinton baggage, I was annoyed and ready for a change. Whether it was his embarrassingly-public marital indiscretions, his failure to capture terrorists, or his divulging of military secrets to the Chinese, I was ready for him to be out. I was pissed off.
I FREAKED. OUT. when Gore reneged on his concession call. “What?? You mean Gore might win anyway?” And it was at that very moment when I superglued myself to Fox News.
In my defense, Your Honor, I needed my fix of play-by-play presidential action. And Fox News had risen up to meet the demand, complete with news ticker at the bottom of the screen and, I might add, a not-so-subtle flavor of comforting conservatism.
You know what else? (I can hear you groaning from here.)
I actually gave a hardcore prayer of thanks once all the hanging chads had been straightened out and Bush’s definite victory had been officially, legally established. Not that I stopped watching Fox News.
In fact, I had grown to welcome The O’Reilly Factor as part of our nightly dinner routine. I had even expanded my horizons to include talk radio. I’d always had mixed feelings about Rush Limbaugh, though. Come on… I do have some standards.
And then something happened.
I woke up. Although I adored the tax cuts and the Texanisms (yes, those grammatical and vocabularial gaffes he made on national TV that everyone else laughed at), his Presidential appearance, and those confident, reassuring, down-home speeches he made after the World Trade Center attacks, I could not ignore the growing gnawing feeling inside me that said: something ain’t right.
I don’t know exactly what tipped me over. Maybe it was September 11th itself, when my bullshit-detect-o-meter instantly went off for reasons I can’t explain. Maybe it was the ominous discussion of a National ID card immediately following those attacks. Maybe it was noticing chemtrails in the sky for the first time. Or attending my first chiropractic seminars as a prospective chiropractic medical student, on which they spent a great deal of time quelling doctors’ fears about the new HIPAA regulations taking effect. Perhaps it was later that fall, when the radio reported that a man had contracted anthrax, a disease not seen in the US in 50 years, from innocuously “drinking from a stream”. (Note: it was later reported that this man had received an envelope of white powder, or something like that. Although my details are fuzzy nine years later, I can vehemently say that it was not the stream’s fault.)
My world crumbled. Well, the world itself had done so long ago; it was my fragile and altruistic view of the world that was falling.
The talk radio habit continued and because most of my listening was either early-morning or late-evening, the details are always fuzzy, but I do remember being rather angry at Bush for something different every day.
It’s not that he’d become an unfair scapegoat; it’s that he seemed to fail at every promise he made. Campaign finance reform? He had been vehemently against it, but then he softened. Same with amnesty, and I was afraid stem cell research and partial-birth abortion were going to go the same way, but I don’t think they did.
And the stupid war. Good Christ, I was irritated at the ineptness of strategy. The last thing I wanted was to see it drag on forever. The economy tanked and gas prices shot up. I don’t need to tell you that Bush won again, but he was running against Kerry, so what do you expect? The Democrats’ motto was “anybody but Bush”, but they shouldn’t have taken it so literally. They literally ran “anybody“, and it backfired on them.
A talk radio habit dies hard, but it can die just the same. Deep in the throes of medical school, we didn’t have the time or adrenal reserve to continue listening to political analysts and psycho-emotional pundits holler that the sky is falling every morning, so we turned off, tuned out, and dropped in to some chillout music CDs instead.
Out of nowhere grew this malignant vine now known as Obama (henceforth referred to as BO). It’s been one fiasco after another. This country has dug itself so deep in the crapper it would take an act of God(dess) and a very strong skyscraper crane to pull us out. The investor money is gone, the jobs are gone, the hope is gone.
The war? Still going, nothing outlasts the Energizer bunny.
And now we find ourselves in another election year. Obamney statists from the illusion of opposite sides are locked in a Coke vs. Pepsi battle.
You’d think they were face-to-face with the Antichrist. Hell, they probably think they are.
This time, I’m one of Those People mentioned in the beginning. I’m still pissed off, but this time, at both sides. I would be amused, watching this like a cat watching a fly in a lampshade, but the psyche of the nation and our collective quality of life do hang in the balance after all. No, this time it’s only depressing.
Because I learned something: no matter who wins, life will suck and this country will begin to suck. I might get tarred and feathered for saying this, but it simply does not matter who wins.
We will still have the Patriot Act breathing down our technological necks.
GM will still be owned by the government.
Our crappy products will still be made in China and we’ll have to re-buy them every 6 months from Walmart.
Our skilled, well-paying IT jobs will still be outsourced to India.
Our food will still be genetically-modified and full of toxins.
Our public schools will still teach to tests and whine about losing kids to private schools and homeschool networks.
We’ll still be stuck with sickly, coily lightbulbs. We’ll still be exposed to neurotoxins like mercury and fluoride at every turn.
We’ll still be bombarded with annoying advertising, disinformation, faux news, and reality TV no matter what.
Our taxes will still go to swindling bureaucrats and under-performing schools.
People still won’t be able to spell. Job seekers will still write cover letters to potential employers in text-speak and whine about their dwindling benefits package.
Does it really matter who the fuck assumes the Oval Office?
Whether Romney gets in or we’re subject to another four years of Obama, you’ll still be stuck with unlabeled genetically-modified foods, fluoridated water, perfectly-timed flu shot propaganda, and you’ll still be breathing the off-gassing of flame-retardant fumes from your couch, mattress, and especially your car seat cushions, all while reveling in that “New Car Smell”.
Your insurance premiums will still skyrocket while your benefits shrink behind the scenes, you’ll still have to take off your shoes like a kindergartner for the TSA at the airport, and you’ll be riled up every year or so about the latest new Congressional proposal that would ultimately result in risking jail time by merely saving the heirloom seeds from your garden.
My point is, Obamney are two sides of the same damn coin. Both support the NDAA (the ability to detain you indefinitely for no reason, without due process), the UN (one world government), Monsanto, the Patriot Act, and so much more.
Both are statists, meaning that they both comprise the establishment and will do nothing to change it, despite the fact that the establishment does no favors for the people (whom, last I checked, our government officials are elected to serve).
Both patsies have been carefully chosen by entities unknown and unseen, as acceptable parameters to choose from while giving you the illusion that A) you have a choice and B) your choice counts.
In reality, either one would produce the exact same, pathetic result. You’d just have a different puppet to blame.
And I’m still pissed off.