Don’t look now, but I think I’m on the warpath. Everything seems to be getting under my skin at once. And I have to talk about it, so that I can vent my myriad frustrations and maximize my chances of having a productive day after all. I make no guarantees on the latter. But the former sounds like a good idea anyway.
It always comes down to the little things. Like how between Firefox, Blogger, and my overtaxed Snow Leopard, my system hangs when I want to switch gears and go back and correct something while typing. Which is frequent, because my brain isn’t working and I make stupid typos I can’t think of an excuse for.
It also comes down to the fact that I’m only getting 3 hours of sleep per night as a rule this week. I had one good night where I got 6-7. Other than that, it’s all about forcing myself to go to bed at 4am so I can at least get some sleep without feeling gnarly the next morning. I’m not tired during the day if I miss sleep; I just feel like shit is all.
Or the salespeople, omigod the salespeople. They’re on my phone, in my mail, at my door, in my lobby, on my home phone (which was supposed to be unlisted but AT&T, true to form, dropped the ball entirely when we started paying them more money by signing up for Uverse…in a contract no less).
The door-to-door sales at the office is getting so bad that I actually printed up two physical pieces of paper; one is the San Antonio city code that governs door-to-door sales and explains how, simply by entering our suite despite our “No Soliciting” sign, they are technically breaking the law by falling under the “aggressive solicitation” definition. Nifty, huh?
The phone sales are even worse. HOW DARE THEY call me in the middle of the freakin’ day to pitch their “we just want to ‘verify’ your listing” scams.
Needy patients – I love them all, but I’ve got one in particular whom I think I’m eventually going to have to start saying “refer to previous email” because I think by now I have answered some of this person’s questions literally about 4 separate times. I give my email support unlimited for free (limited by what they can type and the fact that I check my email several times a day at my convenience), but there’s a such thing as you have to actually read–and implement–the answers I give you. If you need clarification or elaboration that’s one thing; but don’t make the same complaint twice.
Dumbass labs who can’t keep our provider numbers on file to save their collective asses. Yes, Quest Diagnostics I’m looking at you. Yet another Dallas-based wasteoid of a company that if you weren’t so big I’d never do business with. Dealing with their insurance-related incompetence is one of the major reasons I chose to stay out of insurance altogether. I’d rather spend my time focusing on my patients’ cases (after the occasional blog-ranting to clear my head).
Now let’s talk about UN-licensed, UN-certified practitioners who have very legal ability to interpret diagnostic testing whatsoever being allowed to attend classes meant to educate LICENSED doctors and other LICENSED practitioners on how to treat and manage COMPLICATED cases in which multiple body systems are involved. And let’s talk about the sheer ignorance and snotty, hostile attitude that monopolistically held up the entire class, wasting time and dumbing down information.
The supplement company who sponsored this is going downhill and I’m actively looking at their competitors, trying to find suitable alternatives. Why? Because they are reducing me and the specialized service I provide to a cheap commodity, sending the message that anyone can do this, and creating a glut of supply that almost outpaces the demand for these services. The woman in question is a sour, bitter person who thinks they can treat autoimmune disorders because she knows about megadosing Vitamin D. Her patients are probably more well-read and knowledgeable than she is. Yikes.
And can I stop sneezing? Huge interruption and it creates misalignment in my vertebrae, which create headaches later. Laugh if you want. Look it up (from someone other than the Kwack watch folks), please.
Physically, I’m trashed. Allergies abound, weight won’t go away (and in fact it keeps accumulating), the internal imbalanced condition that allowed a skin yeast to grow is still there even if the skin yeast itself is responding to a topical application of tea tree oil, my muscles are wiped out after one flight of stairs, I’ve still got two months to go on a gut bug protocol, I barely have enough brain power to write my professional blog(s), and our practice still isn’t quite steady. It’s not doing badly, but it’s not where it needs to be. Did I mention I can’t sleep? Oh and I’m peeing 3 times within the first 2 hours every morning. WTF?
My memory is trashed, too. I have no idea what is causing the inflammation; I’ve eliminated everything bad from my diet and I have little left to enjoy. No grains (occasional corn, maybe a gluten-free snack like cookies or homemade granola). No factory-farmed meats. Minimal conventional produce.
I cut back on the thyroid-slowing foods.
I avoid every single allergenic food I tested positive for (except organic milk because it’s such a borderline allergy). I don’t go hog-wild on nuts or seeds. I don’t do artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives. I scrutinize labels for MSG and its aliases.
I walk a couple miles at a time, a few times a week.
I don’t use alcohol, nicotine, or illegal drugs.
I take no prescription drugs and minimal over-the-counter drugs only as needed. I don’t use any conventional perfumes, laundry detergents, soaps, shampoos, or conditioners. I wear no makeup or bra (if that’s TMI, I don’t care right now; it’s nothing against you). I don’t even go hog-wild on antibacterial soaps.
I live super-close to work, I’ve identified my stressors (like driving), and I avoid/minimize them. I exercise professional boundaries and don’t let anyone (except us) run our practice. I don’t watch stressful things on TV at night. No doom-and-gloom or prophecies. I never watch the news or listen to talk radio anymore.
What else am I supposed to do? Dammit.
Also, I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t in terms of organization. If I don’t clean my desk, it gets full of clutter that is stressful to look at and keep processing. If I do clean my desk, my memory is so shot I don’t remember where I put anything so I end up frustrated and looking needlessly for things I need anyway.
And of course, I feel like I have to keep nagging the other half to get his things done. Did you do this yet? No. That? No. What have you been doing? Fuck all, is what it seems like sometimes. I’m sure that he, like me, is just doing his best. But I feel like as slow as I am (and I feel it, I’m aware of it, and it’s frustrating), I feel like he’s even slower and more inert. Nothing like one ass-dragging burnout trying to kick someone else in the pants.
Story of my frigging life. Am I a bad person if I recently started taking God(dess)’s name in vain?