STOP the insanity!


There’s this saying that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.

(Back in like 2004, people who walked around smugly quoting that phrase were sleek and witty.  These days, the phrase is tired; it’s no longer sleek and witty…but its quoters are still smug.)

But anyway…  The definition of MY insanity is that I keep doing different (increasingly palatable) things and getting the SAME results.

If you haven’t guessed, those results aren’t the most desirable.  I’ve been beside myself all day trying to figure out what to do.  There’s a certain standard of care I know someone needs.  There’s also a price tag attached.  And insurance won’t pay for it, either.  They’re too out of touch.  Not much I can do about that.

But who gets the short end of the stick?  I do, when the people decide to go to acupuncturist up the street will order a quarter of the necessary tests, with a quarter of the necessary price-tag, which is delusionally easier to swallow.

I won’t give numbers, but I’ve taken on a handful of new patients in the past 3 months.  I know the website is out there and that people are seeing it.  I know they’re interested and they call.  I also know that they receive my paperwork attachments in an email and vanish into thin air, never to be seen again.

So I looked at said paperwork.  There are no unnecessary, out-of-line, unduly invasive, or over-the-top questions.  I went purposefully looking for questions to delete, re-word, or combine to save space, and I couldn’t find them.  The paperwork is comprehensive but efficient.  The questions are concise, and direct yet tactful.

Then I scrutinized the website.  Nope, that’s all good – questions are answered, concepts are developed in detail, and the process is laid out clearly.  Besides (I started to realize) if the website was losing people, we wouldn’t be receiving phone calls and emails.  Since we are, that part of the chain isn’t broken.  I honestly don’t know where the breakdown is.  I mean, from first glance it looks like the Case Review is the weakest link but then, we all know what happened back when I didn’t have it.  Patient quality has gone through the roof in a good way since we implemented it.  It’s just that the quantity went through the floor, deeper into the basement than I was ready for.

So I did one thing I do when I’m frustrated and confused: consulted my horoscope for the month. W…T…F.  She’s so spot on – the high-energy, the projects (bonus that she knew they were electronic in nature), the feeling spent by mid-month (no shit).

But there was one glaringly obvious error.  She said I’d be happy!  I’m not happy.  No way, no how.  In fact, I’m doing everything I can to be happy.  And this not-happiness is not a dip in brain chemicals or an unknown exposure to gluten.  Nope, this time it truly comes from the world around me, caving in on me from various (and multiple) angles.

I don’t know.  Another saying, from someone I admire and respect, who is sleek and witty in every way but cops zero smug factor, says something about progress and growth being made during painful times.  This is a painful time, so it is probably also a growing time.  Well, that should come with some kind of progress somewhere.

Hey, at least I can spit out an awesome H Pylori demo-diagram in 2 minutes flat.  If it’s any self-consolation.  Jury’s out.


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