Insomniac Theater

I wonder what the world would be like without those “as seen on TV” TV commercials.  Somehow I’m not sure it’d be the same.  But then I have to wonder if I’d miss them.  Bogus commercials promising to clean out your computer viruses, decimate your love handles, furnish free credit scores, or land you some rock-star job after warming a seat for 9 months at a for-profit school.

Then again, surfing the channels during another sleepless night-turning-into-morning,  I’m not sure the actual programming is much better.

Hoarders?  (If you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all, so the marathons are useless.)

The Real Housewives of (Insert Pathetic County Here)?  Nah, not unless you like to listen to toxic, superficial drivel from toxic, superficial people.  If I wanted to listen to that, I would’ve stayed in Dallas.

The Nanny was never cool, and neither was The Wonder Years. That 70’s Show should’ve stuck more to the ’70s – it’s so obvious that it’s a show of the ’90s or ’00s trying to be ’70s and failing.  MTV doesn’t even play music anymore and Biography gets all late-night fight-or-flight with its I Survived

I have 3 criteria for shows, especially after 10pm…
1. The show can’t be stupid.  No poorly done sensationalistic shows about 2012 Prophecies or Global warming.
2. It can’t piss me off or annoy me. (So, no infomercials or Investment Properties.  Basically, anything on HGTV is out.)
3. The show must be light.  King of the Hill, Family Guy, What I Like About You, Family Ties, DeGrassi, Ice Road Truckers are all good examples of something I can watch later at night, since none of those trip my subconscious panic response.  On the other hand, CSI, murders, violence, ghost hunting, hoarding, Life After People, news channels, are all out.  About as exciting as I’m going to get are shows about weather spotting/tornado chasing and Alaska State Troopers.

This only works, however, if it’s not Sunday night with severely limited options.  Sunday nights suck not because tomorrow starts another week (I’m cool with that), but because there’s no hope for you that night if you don’t get tired on time.  You’re at the mercy of those who don’t seem to put nearly as much energy into planning shows for Sunday nights as they do the rest of the week.

*Sigh*.  Oh well.  Some guy is telling me about Medicare gap health insurance.  It can’t get much worse.  Which means from here, it can only get better.


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