Ever feel like you’ve been hit with a barrage of, I don’t know, fill-in-the-blank? Like suddenly everyone wants something from you and it’s too much to handle at once? Enough to make you recoil and push back and say “go away”?
Well, I’ve felt that way lately; certain things have started to grate on me and, well, enough is enough. Here is a non-exclusive list of things I will not do, despite encouragement to the contrary.
* NO, I’m not going to text some word to some strange phone number.
* NO, I’m not going to join some Facebook game like Farmville, Cafe something-or-other, or anything else.
* NO, I’m not watching some sports game.
* NO, I don’t need some chiro-motivational seminar, practice-building/coaching company.
* NO, I’m not going to ask my “doctor” if some drug is “right” for me.
* NO, I’m not going to buy the claim that normal female monthly symptoms (or signs of basic hormone surplus) are instead some classifiable disease.
* NO, I’m not going to “call right now!”
* NO, I don’t want to be “featured” as “THE alternative medicine clinic” in my city, (especially knowing that I’ll have plenty of company/competition), for some obscene amount of money, especially since our website will soon outrank theirs in the search results anyway.
* NO, I’m not signing up for some gym membership and busting my ass on a treadmill anymore.
* NO, I’m not completing anymore intrusive internet surveys.
* NO, I’m not going to sign up for any cut-rate phone service, check-cashing service, credit-monitoring service, or second-rate car insurance.
* NO, I’m not going to click here.
* NO, I’m not participating in any chain letters or secret Facebook conspiracies.
* NO, I’m not going to support any bogus self-interested causes or awareness months unless it also means true health and prevention (which it never does – it’s all about raising ever-more money to pay high salaries while they pretend to search for some unrealistic cure).
* NO, I’m not displaying colored ribbons for any causes (except for common-sense things like supporting our troops).
* NO, I’m not getting the flu shot.
* NO, I’m not falling for any Nigerian 419 scam, and don’t think that any of your “god blesses” are going to change my mind and make me think for a minute that you’re American or legit.
* NO, I’m not supporting something just because it’s “green”, “vegan”, “sustainable”, or otherwise politically correct.
* NO, I’m not opting for local conventionally-grown food when I have an organic option, even if the organic comes from further away.
* NO, I’m not falling for BO “change”.
* NO, I don’t think you’re cool because you have subwoofers, a tricked out ride, or bling.
* NO, I don’t think you’re cool because you have a big stereo system or you listen to rap.
* NO, I don’t think you’re cool because you mark your territory with spray paint.
* NO, I’m not going to sign on with your crappy insurance company just so I can make next to nothing for treating you.
* NO, I’m not switching long distance companies, internet providers, or credit card processing companies.
* NO, I don’t think you’re impressive just because you have a BMW, Mercedes, Jaguar, Escalade, Hummer H2, or anything else.
* NO, I don’t think you deserve a fricking medal because you drive a Prius, Mini Cooper, VW Bug or Jetta, Smart Car, or any hybrid vehicle.
* NO, I don’t think you’re high society just because you shop at Whole Foods.
* NO, I don’t think you deserve special treatment just because you have kids.
Just sayin’ no…. just sayin’.