Ideas that might make me some money…


To state the obvious, the job market doesn’t look too promising.  Recent stats reveal that unemployment is at its highest in a long time, clocking in at 9.8% (not including the countless number of people who have given up searching altogether), which is now on par for the Europe that everyone wants to emulate (gotta take the good with the bad, folks–you asked for it!), and that for each job opening, you’re competing with *at least* 6.5 people for each open position (don’t ask me where the .5 comes from – maybe the Hand from Addams Family actually had to earn his keep), and that you do this for an average of 6 months before landing anything solid.

Self-employment, while always an option, may not be the best one at this point, because even in a good economy, 9 out of 10 businesses fail in the first 5 years, and of those that survive the first leg, 9 out of 10 fail during the second 5-year period.  Passive income has been the battlecry ever since everyone fell in love with snake-oil salesman Kiyosaki who promised them the empty dream of living on passive income without lifting a finger, as if society can survive on a bunch of yuppie slugs who want to own everything and produce nothing.  With that market (rightfully) gone bust, it’s no longer as attractive an option.  With the economy stubbornly remaining horrible (I call BS on the “we’re in recovery” claim, because it won’t as long as this particular clown is prez), there may very well be a good supply of employment candidates to choose from, but few customers to serve.

So what’s a girl to do?  Sure I’ve got a doctor degree coming to me in three months, but licensing will take another 3-4 months after that.  I thought it’d be fun to entertain a few ideas–even if none progress beyond this stage.  But remember–if these ideas pop up somewhere, you know who said it first.  Not that I expect anyone stumbling across this and capitalizing on my ideas to actually call me up under his own free will and offer me a royalty cut for intellectual property or anything, but all I can say is, karma’s a bitch.

A client blacklist for massage therapists came to mind a few years ago.  Many a blue-pill-popping perv or special snowflake with a huge entitlement chip on their shoulder have darkened my doorstep and graced my massage table with their presence (or non-presence, in the case of the dreaded no-show), and I’ve often raised the conjecture that this is not an isolated incident, and daydreamed about how nice it might be to have been able to look up their track record in some online database such that I at least knew what I was walking into when they called to schedule with me.  During the busy season, had I answered many calls from prospective patients wanting appointment times on a particular popular weekday/time, I might’ve been able to knock a few headache timebombs out of the running and given a more deserving prospect the more prime timeslot.

I might have given eyeteeth for a handheld device that, once a certain button is pushed, de-activates all non-emergency cell traffic and texting/datastreaming services for the next 30 minutes, up to a certain radius around you.  Push the little red button and Presto!!  No cell phone for you!  All non-911 service goes completely dead and the display simply says “no service.  Hang up and drive.  Try again when you reach your destination.”

I salivate over this idea particularly when sitting in rush hour traffic, behind people who deem it perfectly acceptable to do anything but drive when they’re at the wheel of a potentially fatal 2-ton hunk of metal.

How about a real OS?  You know, one that’s *not* in bed with Microsoft, Intel, or any of these other yahoos.  How abut one that doesn’t play big brother, doesn’t cost an arm and a leg, doesn’t crash when you look at it wrong, and doesn’t try to do everything for you?  Can I have semi-intuitive usability, a decent graphic interface, a decent array of software titles it supports, and how about at a fair price?  You’d think I was asking for the moon.

Since I was 12 I’ve wanted to own my own radio station.  I still think it’d be sweet, and I daydream about the day if and when I have enough disposable cash to rent the programming rights to an existing radio station for an entire 24-hour period, commanding exclusive control over every minute of airplay.  See, the Jack FM playlist is markedly more limited than it originally was (welcome to the end of the honeymoon period, a typical phenomenon of any new radio station past its 6-month hook-the-market-share phase), and I’d like to spice things up a bit.  So, I would spin off of the Jack FM concept–a “Jack on Crack”, if you will.  I’d play Slaid Cleaves followed by Dismemberment Plan, the Cars followed by Bach, and George Strait followed by Metallica after Milli Vanilli.  Now that’s variety!

And last but not least, the ChiroDummy.  One would think that in the incessant interest to minimize liability, the school (and if not, then an agency like OSHA or the DEA) would’ve mandated the use of such a device, but alas.  This is a device that resembles a human spine with resistance cofactors, tissue densities, and built-to-scale dimensions of a real human body on which students can hone their adjusting skills without killing off fellow classmates (although that would do wonders for thinning out possible competition).  It would thus palpate and adjust realistically similar to that of the real human body.  Students could then build confidence and learn to apply enough pressure, perfect the line of drive/thrusting angle, and perfect their speed.  Ideally, such device could also give feedback on both palpation and adjustment, speed, comfort, and accuracy of contact points, calibrated to the average person.  As a bonus, the overlying tissues would be transparent so as to have clear visibility of the spine underneath.

With any luck, the economy will soon be on the upswing and I won’t have to reach into my bag of tricks and pull any of these out, although with each report that comes out about both the current situation and timeline forecasts of the future, I’m not holding my breath.


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